We’ve all heard the bad grammar horror stories: gory rumors of a brilliant job candidate missing out on an opportunity because of a misplaced comma or frighteningly funny-not-funny tales of a political candidate mangling a perfectly good one-liner (making it mean even less than it did originally).
Then, of course, there’s the seemingly never-ending barrage of listicles recounting the 10 Most Hilarious Grammar Mistakes You Have To See Before You Die or waxing lyrical about #Grammarfails That Only Grammar Lovers Will Understand.
Rarer, though, are noble accounts of grammar saves: those times when knowing your grammar has neutralized a dangerous (if not quite near-death) experience that could have cost you your money, reputation, and love life.
This may sound far-fetched. After all, good grammar’s usual MO is that it’s a tool for improving communication and writing skills, which can have all kinds of awesome (but not superhero-level) consequences.
To prove the point, we found some pretty cool situations where grammar has swooped in and rescued a poor damsel or dude (or company) in distress.
Good Grammar Can Keep You Out of the Can
When Ohio resident Andrea Cammelleri received a parking ticket for leaving her pickup truck parked in an area for more than twenty-four hours, she could have paid it without question, pleaded her case before a judge, or even (if she was feeling particularly irresponsible) ignored it until she was held in contempt of court and thrown in jail.
Instead, she called Grammar Man! Or rather, she just relied on her knowledge of punctuation to point out that based on comma placement, her vehicle was not in violation of the law. Here are the autos that the village of West Jefferson would not allow to be parked for more than a day:
“Any motor vehicle camper, trailer, farm implement and/or non-motorized vehicle.”
As she so astutely argued, her motor vehicle was not the same thing as a motor vehicle camper. The prosecutors rebutted that the law was clear enough thanks to context, but the appeals court sided with Cammelleri and advised lawmakers to revise the sentence to include a comma between vehicle and camper if they wanted it to apply to standard autos too.
Grammar, one; city of West Jefferson, zero!
Good Grammar Can Save You a Million Bucks
If you’re not so easily won over by a mere parking ticket victory, perhaps you’ll be more convinced of the power of good grammar when there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
That was the case for Canadian telephone company Bell Aliant, and they came out of things one million Canadian dollars richer. How? Thanks to one tiny comma, they were able to cancel a contract with the country’s largest television cable provider just a year after signing (instead of after five, as the cable company intended). An unanticipated increase in third-party usage fees meant that Bell Aliant would have lost a lot of money by staying in the contract. Here’s the phrase responsible for their good fortune:
“This agreement shall be effective from the date it is made and shall continue in force for a period of five (5) years from the date it is made, and thereafter for successive five (5) year terms, unless and until terminated by one year prior notice in writing by either party.”
Bell Aliant argued that the comma after terms and before unless applied to the entirety of the sentence, which meant the company could cut ties after as little as twelve months. The cable provider, on the other hand, meant for the termination period to apply only to the clause and thereafter for successive five-year terms.
A regulator supported Bell Aliant’s claim and sent the cable mogul back to Toronto with its tail between its legs.
Good Grammar Can Get You Out of Dating Trouble
Turns out it’s not who you’re wearing or what you drive that can make you more successful on the dating scene; it’s your grasp of grammar (well, that and good teeth).
According to an online survey of nearly 5,500 singles over the age of 21, 55 percent of men and 69 percent of women judge their potential partners on how well they can cross their t’s and dot their i’s. Good grammar trumped clothes, hair, accent, and even brand of electronic device as an essential.
Needless to say, if you don’t want to strike out on the relationship front, it’s worth brushing up on your sentence structure, vocabulary, and writing skills.
Know another cool example where grammar was used as a superpower? Tell us about it in the comment feed below or via our Facebook or Twitter pages.
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