By Laura Wallis for The Stir by CafeMom
All parents have mental lists of this stuff—their kids’ hilarious mispronunciations and malapropisms that were so darn cute they couldn’t bear to set them straight. We polled a bunch of parents for some of their favorite examples.
By the way, this is what baby books were made for: Enjoy the quirks and write them down before you forget. (Or, even better, make some audio recordings!) There’s plenty of time for corrections later.
Ready for School
When she started preschool, my daughter was delighted to pick out her very own “pack-pack.” She called it that all the way into first grade, when she realized her mistake and quietly made the switch to “backpack.” It was a sad day for Mom.
The Rare Mistake
I could never correct [my son] when he said “effalent” instead of elephant, back when he was two and otherwise talked like a professor.
Math Problem
My friend’s daughter, on a math assignment, wrote something along the lines of “Tom has more penis than Larry.” (Instead of pennies.) Best spelling fail ever!
And Speaking of Private Parts…
My three-year-old (who has a new baby brother whose privates she calls his “peanut”) is telling everyone she went to see The Penis Movie with Daddy this weekend.
Girl Parts Cause Even More Confusion
[My son] used to say “spacheea” instead of “vagina.” He now knows better and refers to it as “bagina.”
Celebrity Upgrade
[My nine-year-old] recently referred to Notorious BIG as Nostradamus BIG.
It’s Catching On
[My son] still says ri-dic-leous, so much so that I can’t pronounce it right anymore.
Weather Report
When it was foggy, he would say, “Look outside! It’s all dusty!”
The “Are”s Have It
He doesn’t know “do/did/etc.,” are words. He uses “are” instead. “Are you have a toy?” “Are you have a good day?”
People by Any Other Name…
They add “-ers” to words in order to describe employees of various establishments. Someone at a nail salon is a “nail placer.” Someone at a dance studio is a “dance studio-er.” Both aspire to be nail placers one day. At least we’ll save on college.
Laura Wallis is a freelance writer and editor specializing in all things family, home, food, and health. She currently lives in New Jersey with her husband, two children, and dog—none of whom take grammar as seriously as they should. She writes for The Stir by CafeMom.
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